A New Trend in Dating: 'Goblintimacy'

A relatively new term has entered the dating lexicon: "goblintimacy." As USA Today explains, adherents scrap the idea of going to extremes to present the best possible version of themselves on first dates. Instead, they adopt more of a "take me as I am" approach. It's an offshoot of "goblin mode," a term that gained traction a few years ago and roughly translates into unapologetic self-indulgence, according to Elle. In the dating world, this translates into dropping the polished persona and showing up as your full, messy self from the start—quirks, baggage, flaws included. The appeal, say experts, is clear in an era of apps, filters, and AI: People are tired of performance and want quick clarity on who's actually compatible.

Few would argue with the idea of more honesty and less artifice, but dating coaches warn that the nuance can be tricky. Push goblintimacy too far, and daters come off as selfish, uncaring jerks. "Who wants to date a goblin?" Damona Hoffman, author of F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story, asks USA Today. "You still have to present yourself in a way where the other person feels like you care."