He Chased Perfect Sleep, Settled on 'Pretty Good'

After his struggles to get a good night's sleep elude him for months, Chris Hatler throws himself into the $100 billion sleep industry to see if it can fix him. As he recounts in Esquire, Hatler does all the things: He dutifully tries the guru rules (Andrew Huberman's "optimize" playbook, blackout shades, strict bedtimes), consults a Penn sleep doctor about insomnia and circadian rhythms, and even submits to Equinox Hotel's high-end "Sleep Experience," complete with temperature-controlled mattress, $250 nutrient IV, tart-cherry elixirs, and a spa waterbed that promises half an hour equals three hours' sleep. The problem is none of it delivers the effortless, uninterrupted night he's been seeking.

What finally shifts things isn't a gadget, but a reframing: A clinical psychology professor makes the case to Hatler there's a biological ceiling to how much anyone can "upgrade" sleep, that some people are simply lighter sleepers, and that obsessing over perfection can make nights worse. He lands on a quieter goal—nudging his schedule earlier, keeping reasonable habits, and accepting that a decent night's rest may be enough, especially if it leaves room to catch another episode of a favorite show with his wife. "It won't be perfect," he writes. "But I'm trying. A pretty good night's sleep is enough for me, as it should be for all of us." Read the full story for a funny, skeptical tour of the sleep-optimization machine.