On Instagram feeds often teeming with curated, contrived content, a recent post from Monette Wagner stood out for her disarming openness. Looking into the camera, Wagner, a 36-year-old mother of three, said in the video: "Divorce can feel like a death." In what resembles a digital journal, Wagner has posted videos in real time about the emotions and life changes that have come with her recent divorce. Developing financial independence, getting used to co-parenting, and moving on from heartbreak are frequent themes of her posts. A growing number of people, mostly women, are sharing unvarnished divorce stories, both offering and seeking advice on social media, per the AP.
On TikTok, content that delves into marital woes has been dubbed "divorce-tok." The level of detail that creators choose to divulge about their divorce and marriage varies widely. Some, like Wagner, don't post about their ex-partners. Others provide detailed accounts of issues in their marriage and the sometimes messy, lengthy process of finalizing their divorce. The voyeuristic world of social media tends to love story-time-style videos where creators talk as if they're chatting on the phone with a friend, sparing no details. Some creators post one-off videos, while others make it the focus on their platforms.
Trends related to divorce also periodically pop up online, like this season's "hot divorcee summer" videos and clips showing people's post-divorce "glow-ups," or physical, and in many cases, emotional, transformations. The #divorce hashtag has millions of posts on both TikTok and Instagram. Some men have posted content along these lines, but women make up the vast majority of creators posting about divorce. Many creators say they're not sharing their stories to gain pity or sympathy, but rather are hoping to develop a sense of community online with others who've gone through similar experiences.
It seems paradoxical that a topic that can be difficult to discuss with family and friends is also one some feel comfortable sharing with potentially millions of strangers online. However, it can be easier to forge digital connections than in-person ones, according to the University of Toledo's Tasha R. Dunn. At the same time, the candor that makes divorce-related content so popular could also be detrimental for those posting if they're in the midst of legal proceedings. "Every single reel that you put out there ... you have to presume that somebody is watching and is going to use it as evidence, if needed," says LA family attorney Jackie Combs. More here.
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